Chris and Alana

Friday, January 21, 2011

My first week at home

Over this past week, Chris and I spent more time visiting Grandma Wilson when we heard that she wasn't doing so well. Fran flew in Tuesday afternoon to see her mother as well. It has been a year now since Helen was diagnosed with bone cancer. She did however have the cancer for a couple years prier from her diagnostic. It has been a difficult year with her health quickly decreasing but she has been a fighter...A real fighter. She loves life and will love life till the end. She pulls out of it each time we think it could be her last week or days with us here on earth. However we do feel it is very close at this point. Helen is only weighing 65 pounds or less now and isn't very mobile. Each time we visit, it has been fun to see her with her fingernails painted and wearing beautiful jewelry to keep her standards of looking her best up to par :)

Wednesday morning, Fran called me up to see if I was still feeling up to going to the temple with her. Grandma was conscious again so Fran felt it was okay to leave her for a few hours. I was so thrilled to be able to go and bring some temple names that my mom had prepared for me to do since we were going to do initiatory work. This was my first time dong initiatory work other than when I went for myself with my mom. Fran and I split the names, her doing 3 and I 4 names. I was grateful for the little wait we had because it gave me more time to read the scriptures and invite the spirit within to emotionally and mentally prepare myself for what I was about to do. During our wait, I reading in D&C, it was chapter 5 I believe when it all hit me and became so very clear to me that what I was now doing was what I am suppose to be doing. It was an answer to my prayers and doubts to wither or not I should be home working on my spiritual, physical growth or work which would help us provide and pay for things that "we need." This was my first time receiving an answer to a prayer through scripture reading with as much power felt. I was able to complete my first two ladies when I needed to move rooms which I ended up moving right behind Fran. It brought a smile to my face when I overheard them talking about the names being for her daughter n laws family. When it was time to move on, the lady put the two of us together with great happiness that we were here at the temple together. By the end of my third name, something special happened and the temple worker paused and softly said, "I love when that happens" I couldn't help but smile unknowingly what it was that just happened. After we were done, the temple workers swapped places and as the one left, she stopped... looked at me and held me while she emotionally said softly, "You, are an amazing person!" It was than that I was brought into tears wondering what it was that came over her prior to us finishing. Was it Heavenly Father speaking threw her knowing that this was something I needed to hear? I had never experienced something so powerfully personal at the temple. I quickly pulled it together knowing I had one more person to complete. Almost making it through again, the lady that replaced the previous temple worker at the end was brought into tears as she looked at me. I couldn't help myself but to reciprocate the tears. Why was everyone getting so emotional, what started it with another temple worker? It was now that I wish I could have known what it was that people saw in me that I more than likely don't see in myself. I was told that I was special and beautiful by several temple workers that day. I loved so much being with the elderly women. I couldn't help myself to know with out a doubt that this was what I need to focus on in my daily life. Afterwords, Fran took me out to lunch at Food For Thought in Draper. We ordered my favorite, some soup and sandwiches! I think it moved up to my top lunch place :) I was so grateful for the answers and spiritual guidance received and to have my mother n law with me.

The following days I just cleaned house top to bottom including Milo :) Today, Fran and I met up again later in the afternoon. Chris worked late so Fran and I went to her TJ Max store up on 3300 S. in SL. We went looking for wall decor for the Lehi home and walked out with new shoes for Fran. Funny, but at least we didn't leave empty handed ;) We then got to go to another favorite place of mine, Paradise Bakery for dinner. This time we were kind enough to bring cookies and a sandwich back for Chris. It was a great first week at home for me. I have been able to work on playing the piano, reading, exercising, spending time with Milo and most importantly being here for Fran during this difficult time.

Friday, January 14, 2011

My Last day!

As expected, today started out with emotions raised to the surface as I faced the last day of my usual day to day repetition of work, cook, eat, play with Milo and sleep. As much as I needed a change, I was scared! Unfortunately Chris had to be with me as I faced the difficulty of not knowing how the "non work life" would be for me and if I would like it. The hardest part of it all was feeling like Chris still "needed" me. I have always provided for myself never depending on someone else these past 7-8 years. My dad taught me to be responsible and hard working as a young teenage girl. It started out I am sure keeping him company while he had to clean buildings all alone in the evenings but then it quickly led to responsibility which I have carried with me up to this point. My thoughts were me not bringing in income, not carrying for any children, what is it that I am doing with what self worth? It all came down to trust, Chris was trying to provide a wonderful opportunity for me to focus on my self and deepen my self worth, value and knowledge in life. To help myself, I printed out a daily schedule with a list of things that I first wanted to work on. And yes, I have it on my refrigerator. I feel I need improvement spiritually, physically, musically and etc. so we will see how it goes.

For tonight, we started off celebrating and hanging out with friend, Cassie and Jason at the Tavernacle in downtown SL. The Tavernacle has two pianist that play songs requested by the audience. It was fun to get out but I wish it would have been "cleaner." The good news is that I get to start the weekend off with a 3 day weekend with my hubby because Chris gets Martin Luther King Jr. day off Monday. Talk about timing!

Monday, January 10, 2011

The MOA

After work Chris and I joined Geoff and Emily for another FHE at their place! We had dinner, played a couple rounds of Blokus (which I LOVED and won the second round)! and then drove to the MOA at BYU. It was free and it was showing some of Carl Bloch's paintings. Below is a description provided by the MOA at BYU.

The BYU Museum of Art welcomes the works of renowned artist Carl Bloch for the first time out of their native Denmark. His thoughtful depictions of the Savior have had profound influence on the lives of Christians all over the world. Bloch's portrayals of Christ possess a unique and timeless quality. They pull viewers into their story by engaging directly with the moral conflict and humanizing their characters struggles. They affirm Christ's mission of salvation and challenge the viewer to contemplate what it means to have living faith, a principle the artist lived his life by.

Bloch was born in Denmark in 1834. He was born and raised Lutheran and practiced their faith for the duration of his life. After discovering and pursuing a passion for art in his youth, Bloch attended the prestigious Royal Danish Academy of Art in Copenhagen. Though a faithful Christian, it was not until later in his career that he began painting the Savior. Because of his acclaimed work, Bloch was later commissioned to paint twenty-three depictions of the Savior's life in the Frederiksborg Castle. Later he was commissioned by various congregations in Denmark and Sweden to create religious altarpieces, several of which will be featured in the exhibition.

While respected by many Christian faiths, Bloch's work has come to be particularly meaningful to Latter-day Saints. Though during his life Bloch was considered a master at his craft, he was largely forgotten after his death and the rise of the Impressionist movement. Half a century later and half a world away, LDS people in the Salt Lake Valley discovered and developed a love for his artwork. From then on, it has been used to beautify many Church publications, LDS meetinghouses and temples throughout the world.

The Museum's miraculous acquisition of Christ Healing the Sick at Bethesda in 2001 deepened the Church's connection to Bloch. Now, after several years of negotiations with many of the churches and museums in Denmark and Sweden, nearly forty of Bloch's works have traveled to the Museum of Art to be seen together for the first time ever outside their homes.

Through Carl Bloch's masterful paintings, visitors will come to recognize the hand of the Savior in their lives. Come experience these powerful works of art in their originality.

Self-Portrait, 1886, Oil on canvas, the Museum of National History at Frederiksborg Castle.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Big Changes...

Our first week into the new year has brought some big changes for us but mostly for myself... When I returned to work at HIT Web Design Monday, I had several phone conversations with Chris in regards to work and wither or not I should continue to do so. This was something that Chris and I have been thinking about over the past month as HIT continued to struggle paying their employees. At this point HIT had not paid me for the last month and a half of work and could not pay me when I returned. To be more accurate, the phone conversations between Chris and I were more pep talks to help me build up the courage needed to confront my VP on my 2 week notice that I would be putting in with HR right after I spoke to him. As silly as it may sound, I was so incredibly nervous about the whole thing. I was shaking, sweating, butterflies up the wazoo with crazy cold chills that ran threw my body. I honestly thought my knees would give out on me after hanging up on our last phone call for the day. But I did it, I found my VP before I gave myself the chance to sit back at my desk chickening out and disappointing my husband. So there you have it, I just finished one of my last two weeks of work for I don't know how long. We have received questions from many of our friends and family if I am pregnant do to this change but I have responded with "No, I am not pregnant." This is a time which Chris is in full support of for some "self improvement." I am absolutely terrified of this change as many close people know that I don't like the "unknown." I have always been afraid of the unknown which may be the reason why I take things a little slower even though change has never let me down. It always is a good thing for me so I hope this will be too.

Monday, we also had family home evening with our cousin's Geoffrey and Emily Montague. They came over to our place while Chris offered a small spiritual lesson. We ate dinner at Zupas and came back for some Monopoly playing. It was my first real attempt to play Monopoly since I was a kid and I have to say that I still get bored of the game and wished someone would take over my place before the game ends. Chris was out and then myself leaving our two guests in the lead.

Tuesday, Chris and I were able to catch a visit with Jennifer and her adorable new girl Gwen before they returned to Texas. They were visiting Ryan's family in Orem. I held baby Gwen the whole night while Jennifer and Chris talked Photoshop :)

Throughout the week, Milo has started to loss is baby teethe! His first four teeth fell out on his bottom row and today, two of them are popping through his gums :) Today was also a day that we spent almost the whole day at our friends home in Eagle Mountain. Dustin and Andrea supplied Sub sandwiches and chips while we brought drinks and dessert from Harmons! They were delicious! I wish we brought our camera to capture Milo and little Avery who is now 2 years old! Times flies by so fast... They were definitely center of attention as Milo and Avery played together the entire day :) I do believe we left Avery with a 6 pack lol because she was giggling and laughing non stop while Milo gave her "kisses." It was a very fun week getting together with close friends that we had not seen in a while.